Almost every break up is a loss that involves a grieving process. The person who
goes through the loss often goes through some common emotional stages:
- Denial – Thinking: “It can’t be happening”, “this is not the end”
- Anger – Asking “why”
- Negotiation – Trying to resolve the pain; contemplating “if I had only…”
- Sadness – Crying
- Acceptance – Remembering the good times.
Making a conscious decision whether and when to resume dating take patience
and awareness. It requires careful assessment:
Assess yourself and evaluate your feelings
When did you start the grieving process? Have you started it before the
breakup? Did you see it coming? Was the breakup a complete surprise?
Determine which stage you were at during your breakup
Were you close to the final stage (acceptance), or did the breakup catch
you by surprise when you were still in denial and hoping that your significant
other is coming back. The closer you are to acceptance, the easier it is to
Assess your support system
Do you have friends and family with whom you can do enjoyable things?
Do you have people whom you can rely on? You want to surround yourself
with a strong support system.
Assess your internal strength
What are those qualities that you are most comfortable with? Develop
these strengths and utilize them when making a decision. Based on your
assessment, you can map out your plans and actions for starting dating