By Orly Katz, LCPC at Everyday Counseling and Coaching Services
“Nothing grows people like love.” – Dr. Sue Johnson
What a remarkable and inspiring presentation by Dr. Sue Johnson, renowned psychologist and expert on love in modern relationships. In this speech, Dr. Johnson presents her theory on the science of love and intimacy. Through decades of research, she has come to the conclusion that love is an evolutionary adaptation, one that gives us enormous strength and resiliency, but also can make us vulnerable to feelings of fear and rejection.
As you watch this speech, consider the following key points and how they might resonate in your own relationship:
- When a couple fights, it isn’t about a power struggle – it’s an expression of the grief and frustration that comes with feeling a loss of connection with one’s partner.
- For someone in love, being criticized by their partner feels no different in the brain than feeling tremendous physical pain – both are threats.
- Healthy couples understand that with love, there are moments of fear. That partners are capable of scaring one another. The couple who thrives acknowledges these moments, steps back, and soothes one another.
- Healthy couples hold each other tight, give comfort, and are kind to each other.
Consider… is the answer to the question, “ARE you there for me?” a resounding YES in your own partnership?
Is your partner accessible to you?
Will your partner respond to you when you turn to them?
Does your partner give the attention you need and provide you comfort?